The Man From Paint Creek (The Ballad of Rick Perry)
He came from Paint Creek
Like him it ain’t deep
Just a little place out on the edge of the Texas plains
A cheerleader at A&M
We’re all real proud of him
For doing all he done and for all the things he didn’t
He’s the kind of a guy who keeps his talents well hidden
Rick Perry, we sure do like your hair
Rick Perry, we sure do like your hair
Here’s four more years in the governor’s chair
He was a Democrat
But we forgave him that
He ran for Land Commissioner in 1988
As a veteran of the Air Force
And somebody who looks good on a horse
He stared into the camera with a stern look on his face
Said the winds of change are blowing, but not a strand was out of place
Chorus
He wanted to be governor all of his life, and as a kid he’d get down on his knees and pray
He wanted to be governor all of his life, and I’ll be damned if it don’t look like it’s gonna turn out that way
As W’s lieutenant, he presided over the Senate
Then George went off to Washington and Rick moved into the governor’s house
He’s been there ever since, though he says he hates government
And we’ll keep voting for him, though our kids can’t hardly read
We’re proud of the man voted most likely to secede
Now he keeps my goats
Safe from coyotes
He keeps the Mexicans from sneaking over to mow my yard
He’s highly regarded for executing the retarded
We’ll pay dang near anything to avoid state income tax
We’ll creatively design ways to avoid scientific facts
[bridge and chorus]